Fake policemen are caught in the act

Floyd’s favourite music was playing through his headset.

The knocking on his door got louder until it gained his attention.

Opening it he faced a ginger- haired man wearing the uniform of a policeman.

“Evening sir, we’re giving advice to the public regarding home protection against burglars.

“Do you have a burglar alarm fitted in your house, sir?”

Floyd glanced at a second uniformed policeman with blonde hair getting out of a tatty brown van.

“No me and my girlfriend haven’t anything worth nicking.”

This second uniformed policeman, said: “Surprising what burglars steal. Jewellery? A television set? Anything’s re-sellable sir?”

Floyd asked: “You mentioned advice?”

“Yes sir, we will check your windows are secure.

“We advise having window locks fitted.”

Floyd let the ginger-haired one enter his lounge, with his blonde- haired colleague.

Floyd asked, them: “Your tatty brown van, that an unmarked police vehicle then?”

“Yes sir, looks in poor condition to blend into its environment.”

Floyd replied: “That’s crafty, I mean clever.”

After examining the window locks, the ginger haired policeman said: “Upstairs window locks are good type, downstairs ones aren’t.”

Floyd was stunned and replied: “But they’re all the same!”

The ginger-haired policeman answered: “ Then, replace all sir. Do you keep money here, where do you keep it sir?”

Floyd replied: “Our holiday money’s kept in the kitchen drawer.”

“Excellent location, well hidden.

“Often householders leave money on armchairs and sideboards visible to burglars looking through windows, sir.

The blonde-haired policeman asked to use the toilet.

Floyd directed him to its location leaving the ginger-haired policeman in the kitchen briefly.

The blonde haired policeman re-appeared and announced: “A call from the guvnor, he wants us back at the police station now.”

Floyd watched as they departed, oddly they drove off in the wrong direction heading away from the police station in their brown van.

That evening Floyd’s girlfriend discovered their holiday cash was missing from their drawer and a row ensued, she accused Floyd of having spent it, which he denied.

Floyd knew those two policeman must have taken it.

If he went to the police, they’d never believe him accusing one of their policemen of stealing from him, they’d look after their own and might even make up a charge against him just to punish Floyd for accusing them.

But Floyd’s girlfriend decided she’d phone them.

At the police station, Detective Inspector George Linden was reading several reports of two fake coppers, who’d called on different villagers over the past few months, stealing money from them and valuables whilst masquerading as giving home security advice.

PC Woods had concerns for his ageing auntie, so decided to visit her as she never read newspapers, had no telephone, seldom listened to advice, and was fiercely independant.

Woods asked Detective Linden, to accompany him, because Woods knew his auntie wouldn’t listen to her nephew’s warning about strangers visiting, but she might listen to Inspector Linden.

The Triumph TR4A awoke from its rest in the snow covered car park, Inspector Linden drove her, cutting a path through the drift covered roads, her spokes barely visible from the compact slush around them, the Triumph’s British Racing Green colour gradually emerging from it’s blanket of white.

PC Woods knocked on auntie’s cottage door, and heard: “Come round the back!”

She was attending her plants.

Inspector Linden was introduced to auntie, who asked him with a hard stare,

“Is my nephew a good policeman, Inspector?”

Inspector Linden, answered: “He’s first rate.”

P.C. Woods looked embarrassed, as his auntie commented: “He’s a good lad.”

Inspector Linden warned auntie, and she listened.

A tatty looking brown van arrived.

Two men climbed out of it wearing the uniforms of policemen, and knocked on the cottage door.

Auntie shouted: “Come round the back!”

Detective Inspector Linden and PC Woods were thankful to be plain clothes police officers here as two uniformed men arrived in the conservatory with a story about giving advice on home security.

PC Woods immediately noticed that neither of these fake policemen wore lapel identification numbers.

Inspector Linden observed their non-standard footwear, lack of photo identification, or police radios.

“Do you have a burglar alarm madam?

“Where do you keep your money here, is it secure?”

Auntie smiled innocently at Inspector Linden and replied: “I’ve received home security advice by the police already.”

Detective Inspector Linden gave no comment, he merely signalled to PC Woods by running his index finger up and down the bridge of his nose twice, which told Woods to wait 20 minutes before we arrest these fake coppers.

The ginger-haired fake copper asked, Inspector Linden

“Are you gentlemen local?”

“No, we’re just visiting.”

Inspector Linden made an excuse to go to his car to get his newspaper.

He returned, newspaper in hand 10 minutes later.

The fake coppers brown van, hadn’t taken long for Detective Linden to open its bonnet and loosen it’s electrical connections to render it a non-starter.

He also radioed for a police van to come to arrest these two fake coppers. Back inside he listened to more tall stories from these fake coppers, as they continued the act of being two policemen.

Finally after 20 minutes, Detective Inspector Linden stood up and promptly snapped a pair of handcuffs on the Ginger mans wrists as PC.

Woods snapped a pair on the blonde mans.

Inspector Linden remarked: “You’re interested in the police, dressing up as coppers to deceive the innocent, and steal from people.

“Well you’re going to spend more of your time in the company of the police now.

“You have just been arrested by two actual policemen.

“This here’s PC Woods and I’m Detective Inspector George Linden.